In America we eat man semen.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
