Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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