ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We don't watch enough power rangers
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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