is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
