i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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