walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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