using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
