I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
