yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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