I want to stick my p in your. b.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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