yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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