I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
my being single is dangerous.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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