Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize