the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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