im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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