Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
