Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
