I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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