I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
