Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
