doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
