Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize