I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dicks are not precious.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize