Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Alive.
So much puke
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
