i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
