hell yes lets make some ravioli
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
