I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There's always time for handjobs
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
