this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
