I love black thongs
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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