My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I lost the right to judge tonight
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
