just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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