The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I need to sanitize my soul.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
