I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I could fuck to npr.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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