id be glad to
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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