the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize