But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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