they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
