is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
