She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize