The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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