I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
As shirtless as possible
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
