why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize