It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
