Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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