'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
