I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
