so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Randomize
