Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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