I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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