There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
