why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
