yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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