Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
