Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize