please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
