Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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