she was so not down for the gang bang
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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