i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize