Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
