I'm going to jail i love you
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
