It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
