He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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