Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
