I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Floor bacon is actually really good
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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