if you like me you must not know who I am
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
