Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
a search helicopter?!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
