My brain says no but my pants say off.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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