I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
