the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
