Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Two words: nipple clamps
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