i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
